Anxiety is not just in our minds—it lives in our bodies. It is often rooted in childhood experiences, even if we are not consciously aware of it. Many of us carry unresolved emotional wounds or inherited family trauma, which activates our internal alarm system. Over time, we get stuck in a state of hypervigilance, constantly scanning for threats, even when none exist. This state of heightened alertness fuels anxiety, keeping us trapped in an endless cycle of fear and stress.
How We Hold Anxiety in the Body
When we experience trauma or prolonged stress, our nervous system adapts to stay on high alert. This adaptation often results in physical symptoms such as muscle tension, digestive issues, headaches, and chronic fatigue. Instead of addressing the root cause, we may develop coping mechanisms to avoid feeling our anxiety:
Numbing – Seeking relief through alcohol, food, or quick fixes.
Distraction – Binge-watching, scrolling social media, or excessive gaming.
Avoidance – Overworking, overcommitting, or staying busy to escape emotions.
These behaviours may offer temporary relief, but they reinforce the cycle of anxiety. Our unconscious mind believes these patterns are keeping us safe, making it difficult to break free, even when our rational mind knows there is nothing to fear. I know I used these techniques for years to appear "ok" when underneath, my anxiety was increasing. We need to acknowledge how these behaviours impact our daily lives and how we may unconsciously resist change.
Trauma & the Nervous System
Bessel van der Kolk, in The Body Keeps the Score, explains how trauma rewires the brain:
"Trauma results in a fundamental reorganization of the way mind and brain manage perceptions. It changes not only how we think and what we think about but also our very capacity to think."
This explains why we often struggle to continue anxiety relieving practices despite knowing they help. When the nervous system is stuck in an anxious loop, logical reasoning alone is not enough. Understanding our minds, our triggers and reframing are helpful in knowing ourselves and building lasting change, but we first need to feel a sense of safety in the body.
Learning how to soothe our nervous system and create a sense of safety is the key to healing, enabling us then to feel safe enough to move from hypervigilance and allow our logical brain a say.
Balancing the Nervous System
Our autonomic nervous system is a delicate balance between the sympathetic (fight-or-flight) and parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) responses. Both are essential: the sympathetic system protects us in times of danger, while the parasympathetic system restores and relaxes us. Chronic anxiety disrupts this balance, keeping us in an overactive fight-or-flight state.
To heal, we must shift our bodies out of hypervigilance and into a state of relaxation. Here are some effective ways to calm the nervous system:
1. Prioritise Sleep
Lack of sleep increases cortisol levels, making it harder to regulate emotions. Establish a relaxing bedtime routine, create a restful environment, and limit screen time and caffeine.
2. Nourish Your Gut Microbiome
There is a strong link between gut health and anxiety. Eating probiotic-rich foods like yogurt, kefir, and fermented vegetables can improve gut microbiome diversity, supporting mental well-being. (Read more about gut health and mind connection)
3. Breathing & Meditation
Deep breathing exercises, such as diaphragmatic breathing or the 4-7-8 technique, activate the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation. Meditation also helps rewire anxious thought patterns. (Try this guided breathing practice)
4. Slow Rhythmic Movement
Gentle exercises like yoga, tai chi, and qigong regulate the nervous system and release tension stored in the body. Even slow stretching can help.
5. Get Out in Nature
Spending time in green spaces reduces stress hormones and enhances feelings of safety. Walking barefoot on grass (earthing) or simply soaking in natural surroundings can be deeply calming.
6. Safe Relationships
Are there people in your life with whom you feel safe to share your feelings, cry or let go of distraction techniques? Building safe relationships supports healing. If you do not have someone, a therapeutic relationship may be helpful to express yourself openly.
Final Thoughts
Healing anxiety isn’t just about thinking differently—it’s about retraining our nervous system. By understanding how trauma shapes our body’s response and learning how to activate our relaxation response, we can break free from the cycle of anxiety. Small, consistent steps toward calming the nervous system create lasting change, helping us feel safe, balanced, and at peace within ourselves.
I know my relationship with anxiety changed when I learned how to calm my nervous system; for me, it was meditation and being with nature. Also important was learning to love myself and my imperfections- we all have them. I previously wrote a little about my story here.
You can explore more about the mind and body relationship in my new guided journal, "Anxiety Unmasked - Discover strength in Vulnerability"
留言