Why are we all so stressed?

I don’t know about you, but lately it seems many people I speak to are running on empty. It’s as if the world has sped up — and we’re all just trying to keep up. People tell me they’re tired but can’t rest, busy but not productive, connected yet somehow lonely.

You might notice it too: that low-level hum of tension that never quite switches off. Even when you’re meant to be relaxing, your mind’s still ticking through the to-do list or scrolling through everyone else’s “perfect” lives.

As a wellbeing and mental health trainer, I hear it all the time: “I just feel constantly on edge.” I understand, I feel it too sometimes. The world has become such a fast, noisy, demanding place — and our poor minds and bodies are trying to keep up with something they were never designed for.

So why are we all so stressed? Let’s look at what’s going on — and what we can gently do to help ourselves.

The world we live in

We now live in a 24-hour society. Shops, emails, and messages — everything is available all the time. The boundaries between work and rest have blurred, and even when we stop physically, our minds rarely follow.

Then there’s social media. We scroll through everyone else’s highlights — the smiling photos, tidy homes, and perfect holidays — and suddenly our own life feels lacking. It’s a comparison trap we all fall into, even when we know it’s not real life.

Add in the constant stream of information — news, notifications, podcasts, messages — and our brains simply can’t keep up. They were never designed to handle this much stimulation or decision-making. And yet here we are, trying to make sense of a million choices a day — what to eat, what to wear, how to live — and somehow never feeling like we’ve chosen the “right” thing. We’ve gone from living in small, quiet communities to carrying the entire world in our pockets. It’s no wonder we feel overwhelmed, overstimulated and exhausted.

The truth is, our society isn’t really built for our wellbeing. It’s built to keep us working, producing, consuming, and striving. And of course, we can’t ignore the news. So much negativity, so much fear. It seeps in and shapes how we see the world — and ourselves.

Our nervous systems are trying to survive in an environment that keeps us in a state of hypervigilance — always scanning for what’s next, never feeling quite safe to rest. When we live like that for too long, it affects everything — our mood, our relationships, our focus, even our physical health. We get caught in a constant stress cycle that’s hard to step out of. No wonder we’re exhausted.

So what can we do?

Firstly, two things can be true at once.

🌍 The world is difficult right now.

💚 And you can still make small, meaningful choices to care for yourself within it.

We might not be able to change global systems overnight, but by tending to our own wellbeing, we build the strength and clarity to respond differently — and maybe even from that calmer place contribute to positive change where it matters most.

Awareness

Stress has become so normalised that we often don’t even realise we’re stuck in it. We glorify busyness, never stop moving, and when we do pause, we fill that silence with more noise — another scroll, another podcast, another dopamine hit.

I invite you to pause for a moment. Just notice how your body feels right now. Is your jaw tight? Shoulders tense? Are you holding your breath without realising it? Your body is always trying to communicate with you — we just rarely stop to listen

Awareness is always the first step to bring about change.

Soothe the nervous system

When we soothe the body, the mind follows. Here are a few gentle ways to help calm your nervous system:

• 🌬️ Take slow, steady breaths - these remind your body you’re safe.

• 🧘‍♀️ Sit quietly or meditate for a few minutes - notice your inner and outer world.

• 💬 Talk to someone you trust - sharing how you feel can be such a relief.

• 🌳 Get outside - fresh air and slow movement work wonders.

• 🤗 Give yourself a hug - it might sound silly, but it really helps

• 🐾 Cuddle a pet - they’re brilliant little stress-busters.

  
  

These small acts tell your body that it’s safe. Once that happens, your thinking brain — the one that makes conscious, healthy choices — can come back online. Before then, you’re often reacting from your survival brain, which is great at keeping you alive but not so great at helping you feel balanced or connected.

1 minute reset

When you feel that sense of overwhelm creeping in, try this:

1. Plant your feet on the ground and take three slow, deep breaths.

2. Notice and name three sensations in your body — perhaps a tight chest, heavy head, or tingling hands.

3. Ask yourself: What do I need right now? What would help most in this moment?

That’s it — one minute to pause and reconnect.

That question — what do I need right now? — is one I ask myself throughout the day. Sometimes the answer is “pause,” sometimes “move,” sometimes “eat something nourishing.” Sometimes "ask for help"

It’s a simple way to anchor back into the present and make conscious choices rather than slipping into autopilot. Next time you find yourself scrolling, grabbing a quick sugary snack, or saying yes to something when you really wanted to say no, pause and ask:

“What do I really need right now?”Often, the answer surprises you — and gently redirects you toward what will truly help

What's in your control?

Once you’ve calmed your body and reconnected with yourself, you can look at the stresses in your life more clearly. Ask:

• What’s really causing me the most stress?

• Which parts of this can I actually influence?

• And which parts do I just need to let go of?

  
  

Notice what’s within your control — and what isn’t. A few small things can make a big difference:

• Turn off the news, or only check it once a day.

• Delete or limit social media apps that make you feel rubbish.

• Keep your phone in another room when you need to rest.

• Reorder your to-do list — some things can absolutely wait.

• Ask for help (hard, I know, but you deserve support).

• Reframe difficult relationships — maybe try responding differently.

  
  

We all have different stress triggers, but once you start noticing patterns — especially the ones that make your body tense just thinking about them — you’ll know where to focus your energy.

Stress narrows our attention to what we can’t control. Shifting the focus back to what we can change — even just our response — helps us feel calmer and more empowered.

The traffic jam example

I use this analogy in training sessions to help people see the power of awareness and conscious choice. Imagine you’re stuck in traffic. You’re gripping the steering wheel, heart racing, muttering a few choice words. It’s horrible — but no amount of stress changes the jam.

Now picture the same situation, but you take a few deep breaths, put on some calming music, maybe use the time to think about your day, or simply stare out of the window.

You’re still in the jam — but your body and mind are in a completely different place.

Same situation. Different response. That’s the power of awareness and choice.

A Kinder Way Forward

Life will always bring challenges, but that doesn’t mean we have to live in a constant state of stress. The earlier we notice those feelings, the sooner we can pause, breathe, and choose another way.

The world can feel hard and messy, but each small act of calm, kindness, and compassion ripples out — not just within us, but to those around us too.

That’s how we begin to change things. Not through force or striving, but through presence, care, and conscious choice.

And truly — that’s the kind of world I want to live in.

💭 A Little Invitation

Take a moment today to pause and ask yourself:

“What do I need right now?”

Your body already knows the answer. You just have to give yourself the space to listen.